


All the Ways You Said My Name

by ShinyMew



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Could be Molly/Beau if you squint real hard, Featuring the Author projecting really hard unto fictional characters, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Mostly just the beautiful Molly and Beau friendship experience, Not canon past episode 13, Someone dies but they come back so it's fine, There was going to be a part two from Molly's perspective but um, What the Author hoped the end game would be before you know what happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 08:10:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15926390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinyMew/pseuds/ShinyMew
Summary: All the ways you said my name, those were my favorite parts of our story.Or, Beau's name never fell from Molly's lips the same way twice.





	All the Ways You Said My Name

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic in the Critical Role fandom! Molly and Beau are my favorite character's of this campaign, so I wanted to immortalize that in writing. I started this back after episode 13 aired so don't expect anything canon beyond that point. This was originally going to be 2 chapters, one from Beau's perspective and one from Molly's. For whatever reason I had a really hard time writing from Molly's POV and now, uh, I'm not sure that will ever change. Still, if people want to see it I might go back one day and make it a companion piece to this one. Anyway, please enjoy this very self indulgent fic!

“Beau”  
\--  
_(When I was about to break)_  
  
“Beauregard has never been anything but a disappointment.”  
  
You know that. You have always known that but to hear him say it, out loud, it makes you want to vomit.  
  
Your father looks at you in disgust and you can’t stop shaking. It’s stupid, he won’t hit you, he’s never _hit you_ , but in that moment, he’s looking at you and you can’t breathe—  
  
You feel a hand on your shoulder and suddenly, your vision is partially obscured by lavender. Molly has placed himself between you and your father. You don’t know why.  
  
“Beauregard is many things. Rude. Arrogant. Violent.” Molly starts ticking off your faults with his fingers and you resist the urge to flinch. Your father is smirking now but when he opens his mouth to respond Molly cuts him off.  
  
“ _Beau_ is also one of the fiercest, most loyal people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. But I can see from your expression that you don’t agree. Come along Beau, there’s no need to waste anymore of our time on this man, there’s nothing here for us after all.”  
  
Molly threads his arm through yours and he’s all but dragging you from the room. You look back ~~like you always do~~ , and see your father staring at you. His face is void of any expression, and you can’t help wondering if he ever felt anything for you at all. Molly makes it almost to the edge of the property before you dig your heels into the cobble stone to stop. Your companion’s momentum carries him a few steps forward even as your arms disentangle but he quickly stops his stride and turns to face you.  
  
“Is something the matter? We should really return to the others. Unless...were you planning on doing something devious to the house? I agree, it’s far too beautiful. Perhaps we could break some of the fancy windows? I bet those are expensive. Or maybe rip up all the flowers? I know, let’s get Nott and Jester to help us—”  
  
“Why?”  
  
You cut him off. You were expecting your voice to sound angry but it doesn’t. It just sounds empty. Molly looks surprised for a moment but he quickly smothers it beneath his showman smile. You’ve always been jealous of that smile. You can’t even give a nice smile when you’re happy, but’s he’s able to whip out something so lovely whenever he wants. It’s one of the things you hate most about ~~yourself~~ him.  
  
“Why? Well, nothing works out anger quite like property damage. Besides, just imagine Fjord’s face when he finds out what we did, it would be hilarious—”  
  
“Why did you say those things to him?”  
  
You cut him off again. You know how he is, he could talk circles around something for eternity if he felt like it. Maybe on a different night you would have risen to the challenge, tried to keep up with the chatter just to prove you could, but tonight…  
  
Tonight, you are so very tired.  
  
Something flickers across Molly’s expression but before you can decipher it, his smile is back.  
  
“Someone like him isn’t worth giving the time of day. Spewing vitriol about another person, he was just a _child_ and I had no interest in indulging him.”  
  
And you almost believe him, because that sounds exactly like the kind of logic he uses, it’s just—  
  
“But… we needed his help, didn’t we? You and the others…this was important to you guys, right? It was just me he was talking about. It’s not anything I didn’t already know. Nothing you guys haven’t thought about me before.”  
  
You’ve barely finished the thought when Molly walks right into your personal space and grabs either side of your face, forcing you to look up at him. Ah, he seems mad. You probably went and pissed him off again. Still the same useless, awful Beau.  
  
“Don’t _ever_ compare us to _him_. Sure, you’re annoying and brash but we wouldn’t ever treat you like—” he scowls and glares askance at the house “…Was that what it was always like, living here?”  
  
“Yes.” You see little point in lying now. Your old scars are on full display now and you’re too tired summon your usual bravado. You find yourself wondering if he finds you as pathetic as you find yourself.  
  
You doubt it.  
  
His eyes flick back to meet yours and something shifts in his expression. He doesn’t seem angry anymore, but his eyes are intense, like he’s trying to stare into your soul.  
  
“Let me tell you something _Beau_ , everything I said in that house was true. You’re rude and arrogant and dammit if you’re not one of the bravest, most loyal people I have ever met. I said those things because _they were true_ and if that man can’t see it then he doesn’t deserve you. He never did.”  
  
Your vision blurs and it takes you a moment to realize you are crying. You can’t remember the last time you let yourself cry and you wonder when Molly became the kind of person you would cry in front of. You can barely make out his expression softening but he doesn’t move to wipe away the tears or attempt to say anything. It’s probably for the best.  
  
After a moment you step out of his grasp and wipe your eyes.  
  
“Let’s go. The others are waiting for us and…” You take a shaky breath and meet his eyes “…you’re right, there’s nothing here for any of us anymore.”  
  
Molly threads his arm through yours again, leading you both back to your ~~family~~ traveling companions.  
  
You don’t look back.  
  
\--  
  
_(When I was dead)_  
  
You stare blankly down at the body. _Your_ body.  
  
It was a stupid way to die, if you were being honest with yourself. You and Molly had been separated from the rest of the Mighty Nein on some job for the Gentleman. Figuring your best odds of finding the others was heading straight for the goods you were attempting to steal and hoping to cross paths with them while they did the same, the two of you headed deeper into the strange, almost labyrinth like cave structure. Your goggles meant the two of you could traverse in the darkness of the cave without much difficulty. Unfortunately, neither you nor Molly are adept at finding or disarming traps, so of course the Universe decided to throw you a huge middle finger.  
  
Molly was walking slightly ahead of you, swords out, when he stepped on some sort of trigger panel. He might not have heard the clicking noise from the cavern wall on you right but you _certainly_ did. You didn’t hesitate, rushing forward and shoving Molly out the of way right as the trap sprung. You turned towards the sound at the last possible moment, in a desperate attempt to catch whatever flew out towards you.  
  
You were expecting an arrow.  
  
Instead you fly back several feet as a fucking _javelin_ pierces your heart.  
  
“Beau?!” You distantly heard Molly’s voice from where he lay a few feet away, having hit the ground when you pushed him.  
  
You heard the rustles of clothes as he stood. “Honestly that was entirely uncalled…for…”  
  
His voice trailed off as it got closer. You felt the world shift violently out of focus and you were no longer on the ground but standing a few feet away, staring at Molly staring at your body  
  
“ _Beau_.”  
  
His voice is a strangled whisper. He takes a shaking step towards you, and then another, and another until he’s dropping to his knees next to your body. “No. No no no nonono _no_.” Even now he’s smiling, though this is perhaps the shakiest you’ve ever seen it. He reaches a trembling hand towards you and checks for a nonexistent pulse. Still smiling his shaking smile, he murmurs “Can’t leave you like this, now can we? Better clean you up some.” Despite the tremors running through his body, he manages to pull the javelin rather easily from your body. Throwing it to the side, Molly turns back to you and removes your goggles, setting them carefully in his bag. That done, he begins wiping the blood from your face, smoothing your clothes, then he starts running his hands through your hair over and over again in what you think would be a comforting gesture if you could still feel it. His smile is faltering as tears being pouring down his face and you want nothing more than to reach out and wipe them away but you can’t because your _dead_ and the finality of that truth seems to hit you both at the same time.  
  
Molly chokes on a sob, gathering your body into his arms and holding you close. He rocks back and forth, like he’s trying to console a crying child, and for a brief moment you wonder if he ever did this for Toya, a lifetime ago. “It’s okay” he whispers and you can hear a hint of desperation in his voice. “It’s all going to be okay. We’ll get you to Jester and you’ll be back to you awful self in no time. It’s going to be okay. Everything’s going to be okay, Beau, I _promise_.”  
  
You’re not sure which of you he’s trying to convince. You don’t have much time to consider it either. You feel a cold hand land on your shoulder and you turn to see a figure in black armor and a hood made of raven feathers standing next to you.  
  
“Come along, Miss. You can’t wait here.” You can’t quite make out their face but their voice is soothing. Still, you must pull a hell of an expression at their words because the figure gives a quiet chuckle and squeezes your shoulder. “No need to look like that. If your friend there is anything like mine were, he won’t let you stay like that for long. So why not take a short break until then? You must be tired…”  
  
As a sudden drowsiness overtakes you the last thing you see is Molly, humming a soft, heartbreaking melody as he lifts your body up off the ground.  
  
\--  
  
_(Epilogue)_  
  
The town square is filled with laughter and music as the festival continues all around you. You stand off to the side, having excused yourself from dancing with Fjord to go get a drink. Coming back, you spot your friends almost immediately (They have always stood out, the brightest things in every room) making a scene as always. Jester has Nott in her arms and the two are spinning around in what some could generously interpret as a waltz. You can hear their laughter, clear as a bell from where you stand. Nott no longer needing to hide her face behind her mask, recognized as a member of the Mighty Nein, as the _hero_ she always was. The two are decked out in their impressive collections of jewelry, catching the firelight in whimsical sparkles and flashes. The brightest by far is the symbol of the Traveler, ever present on Jester’s person, which seems to be glowing faintly. You’re tempted to blame that on the copious amounts of ale you’ve had, but honestly you wouldn’t be surprised if it really was glowing. The Traveler must be so proud of Jester, his most devoted cleric, steadfast, never wavering in her love and devotion to the people she cares about. Not to mention, she never has lost that penchant for causing trouble that seemed to have caught his eye in the first place.  
  
Looking slightly to the right, you’re eyes set upon another pair of your friends dancing, though they seem a bit tamer then the “detective duo”. Caleb and Yasha’s waltz is a bit closer to the real thing despite the fact that their moves are somewhat awkward, and they’re stumbling every few steps. Though you can’t make out what it is, you can see Caleb saying something. A lot of something in fact. There’s another change you’re grateful for. You remember back when you had to fight to get a single word out of him but these days he’s much more willing to talk, if still prone to awkwardness and rambling. You don’t think he’ll ever forget his past (and who could blame him?) but watching him smile delightedly when he manages to twirl Yasha without either of them toppling over, not caring a bit about the townsfolk all around you, you think he’ll be alright. For her part, Yasha is listening carefully to whatever Caleb is talking about, nodding and interjecting occasionally. She, too, seems unbothered by the crowd, wearing a symbol of the Stormlord proudly around her neck. When Caleb fumbles a step, she saves him from kissing the cobble stone, catching him and turning the momentum into some sort of dip. Their faces close together you can just barely see her mouth moving, expression blank. It seems to have been some sort of joke, because Caleb bursts into laughter and Yasha cracks a smile, pulling him back to his feet.  
  
Leaning against a table near your dancing friends, Fjord watches on in obvious amusement. His strange sword is still strapped to his hip but he’s not fidgeting with it the way he used to. He seems completely at ease in the crowd, none of that false confidence he used to wear like a shield is present in his posture as he watches your friends fondly. He opens his mouth to call out something and if you squinted, you bet you’d be able to see where his tusks are growing back. Whatever he said must have been directed at the girls, because Jester dips Nott, in a much more elegant version of the move Yasha just pulled, and the pair stick out their tongues and flip Fjord off in unison, sending the half-orc into a fit of laughter. After a moment of appreciating your friend’s antics, you realize what’s missing.  
  
You don’t see Molly anywhere.  
  
Molly hardly knows the meaning of the words “blend in”, so you can’t imagine you missed him near the rest of the Nein. You set your eyes to the other dancers, but he isn’t there either. Perhaps he’s giving fortunes? You’re still looking when you feel a pair of arms wrap around you from behind. You can tell who it is before you even look, knowing the feel of that ridiculous coat against your skin anywhere. You make no comment as Molly leans the majority of his weight against you, simply adjust your stance and leaning your head back against his shoulder.  
  
“What are you doing here all by your lonesome?” He whispers into your ear.  
  
“Enjoying the view” You answer honestly, gaze drifting back to your other friends.  
  
“They are a rather captivating bunch aren’t they.” Molly murmurs, giving you a light squeeze.  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Only one thing missing, otherwise they would be truly enrapturing.”  
  
“Huh?” You turn slightly in his grasp, so you can look at him “What’s that?”  
  
He smirks and before you can blink, he’s pressing a kiss to your cheek “You of course, Darling.” As you splutter for a comeback, he steals the glass out of your hand, releasing you from his embrace and downing the rest of your drink.  
  
“I—You--that was a lame line.” You manage after a moment, shooting him a half hearted glare. He simply laughs at you, setting the empty cup on a nearby table. “The same goes for you, you know.” You mutter, expression softening as his eyes meet yours “I mean, Jester and Nott are giving you a run for your money, but when it comes to shining, no one glows in the dark quite like you.”  
  
You were never the best at sincere expressions of emotions, but with all of Fjord’s coaching, you like to think you’ve gotten a lot better. The skill has helped you in many circumstances, dangerous or otherwise, but never have you felt quite so proud of yourself as you do in this moment when Molly gives you a bright, genuine smile.  
  
“I suppose we shouldn’t keep the good people waiting then, should we?” With a theatric bow and a goofy smile, Molly offers you his hand. “May I have this dance, Beau?”  
  
You take his hand and the two of you make your way back over to your little family, twirling and laughing all the while.


End file.
